Leadership lessons in Challenge and Change: The Dog
How nice it is when you develop a rhythm and things begin to feel smooth and dare I say, easy! This is what I was saying to myself at the end of October. Work was going well, my home routine was beginning to stabilize after a quick move...everything was coming together. If you are anything like me though, you can sometimes move about quicker than you should towards the vision you have for your future.
So here we are, my son and I, talking about my promise to get him a dog. He had spent time doing research and I finally started to do my own. Then, we started looking. Rescue was my adoption method of choice so after visiting a couple (literally, the second one), I saw the puppy that would be our fur baby. My son wanted a bigger, more rambunctious Husky but hello! Our routine was stable! That Husky would have ruined everything, I thought. This adorable docile pitbull/lab terrier would be a walk in the park, right? So we took her home and wow, was I in for a surprise.
Here are just a few things that happened in a few short weeks:
She went crazy in the crate due to anxiety so we had to pack it up.
Two rugs were thrown away due to anxiety poop.
She chewed everything...sticks, toys, books, shoes, etc.
She learned to bark.
I threatened to take her back, asked around and started the search to rehome her several times because of the frustration, anger, exhaustion and sadness I felt through the process...but then I realized I was learning right along with her. Here are some lessons that I’ve carried with me since bringing her home:
Patience is essential to learning: It’s easy to get stuck in your own way of doing things AND feel as though your way is the best way especially when you are good at what you do. Diversity, whether in the form of a new addition or a different perspective, helps to stretch your capacity. Being patient with my new addition re-focused me on humility which prompted patience. Through that patience, learning happened for both of us and my capacity for understanding grew.
Everybody has dignity, even in their mistakes. Trust me, anxiety diarrhea is a huge mistake after learning to go outside to bathroom! Having empathy in the recognition that our puppy was scared and missed us because we were out for so long helped me to get through the clean up process and respond to her with kindness. As a leader, it is important to remember that mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth to happen when there is a willingness to keep going. Give grace, stay respectful and persist!
The importance of emotional regulation and discipline: Welp, for almost a month, I was struggling! The meter had ran out on my emotional discipline and I was dangerously close to the edge! Because of this, I was impulsive in my responding which made each situation worse, not better. It took a firm hand but I re-established my connection to our ‘why a dog’ and created room for deliberate responding. This is key in leadership because dynamic, high pressure situations can cause emotional impulsivity. Deliberate responding is when you force yourself to stop and process what is happening (even for a blink) so that you can actively redirect yourself to focus on what is most important and provide clear direction.
Acceptance (finally!): What a blessing our Sunny Spice is! Not only does she fit our lifestyle but she is just a really good dog. Her presence has brought additional love and light to our home. The same can be said for leading through change. Whether of our own design or uncontrolled direction, we make choices with the expectation for an outcome that is rosy but often forget that there is always an acclimation period. It forces us to review our actions, revise our processes, introspect and stretch to absorb the difference. If you do it right and if it is a good fit, the grass may not be greener but if you water and nurture it right, you can definitely make it thrive.
